Values Wobbling? It May Be Time for Realignment

Your values are like personal road maps—follow them and you’ll feel in alignment; ignore them and you’ll find yourself flailing around inside, wondering why you’re just not able to shake that pesky discomfort.

Values help us discern who we are. What do we hold dear? What makes us tick? They’re symbolic of our essence, yet, whether consciously or subconsciously, we think we can trick ourselves and buy into others’ values. After all, if it works for HIM, why wouldn’t it work for ME?

Take John for example. Asked for his top five values, he listed integrity, family, adventure, honesty, and connection. John thought he was living out his values, but when he really began examining his life, he realized that he was compromising nearly every one. This was totally unintentional, and was happening at a subconscious level. His only evidence was a chronic feeling of being unsettled . . . never truly at peace.

As he was compromising his values of integrity and honesty, he’d justify it by finding others who compromised those values even more than he, and who seemed to be "just fine." And when he chose again and again to miss momentous family events for work, he told himself he was honoring his family more by his ability to provide a comfortable lifestyle than to ensure his presence. Wasn’t he honoring his value of connection by being there for his clients? And adventure? How could he possibly entertain such frivolity when people were counting on him?

Years of compromise had taken a toll on John, as they do on each of us. If you can relate to John's situation, or even if you simply feel a sense of unease but don’t know why, you too may find answers through this values-builder exercise. Let’s try it, shall we?

- What are your core values? Take a few minutes to list as many as you can. As you do so, attempt to discard any that you may have accepted out of habit rather than from real desire

- Once you have your list, narrow it to your top 5—those values that you simply would not want to navigate without.

- Now, ask yourself, “why are each of these values important to me”? Dig deep and connect with the REAL reasons.

- It’s now time for honest introspection. On a scale from one to ten (one being “not at all”; to ten being “completely”, how is the way you are currently leading your life honoring each of those values?

- For any value you scored less than ten, ask yourself, “what one change will I make in my life today that will move my score one step closer to ten?”

How did you do? What did this exercise reveal about the subconscious choices you’ve been making until now? How willing are you to change and for what reason? What do you believe could be the result if you make no change at all?

I’ll bet your answers to these questions will be most revealing. Ultimately the choice is yours. But if you yearn for inner peace and balance, I hope you’ll seize the opportunity that living in values-based alignment will afford you!