The Illusion of Control

When I say, “Just let go!” what’s your reaction?

A bit of panic?

Some momentary heart arrhythmia?

Or perhaps a defiant inner dialogue that goes something like, “Are you CRAZY?!! If I let go EVERYTHING will fall apart!”

I've mentioned before that I have heard entrepreneurs describe themselves as great problem solvers. I also know it's common for entrepreneurs to proudly define themselves as “control freaks”.

Control is a good thing, right? After all, we believe that many of our proudest accomplishments have come about as a result of our ability to control—ourselves, our environments, our outcomes, our employees, and even our family members. And so we hold on for dear life, superior stewards of this notion of control.

But what if real control can only be accomplished by letting go?

Imagine for a moment that your entire body is wrapped in a tourniquet. It would be impossible to move, or even to breathe. Control does the same thing to our potential. It suffocates it, squelching our mobility and the
vastness of our inner spirit. In control, we see but one way—our way.

And we hold on so tightly that we restrict creative genius, and limit our and others’ human potential.

“Letting go is easier said than done”, you might respond. And you’re right! It’s not the simplest of things to master. Our egos stand firmly aligned with control, a protective mechanism to shield us from possible
harm.

Breaking the pattern of control is first about admission…about bringing it to light. Doing so without judgment but with simple acknowledgment will separate you from your own ingrained pattern. Next, explore the underlying fear. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid will happen if I’m not in control?” and listen carefully for your own response.

Perhaps the answer is, “I’m afraid everything will fall apart.” If so, then dig a little deeper. “If everything falls apart, then what?” And keep probing until you get as much clarity as you possibly can.

Then ask yourself, “What am I giving up by holding on to control?”

The answer could be just one or a multitude of things. Most likely, though, you’ll find that by holding on to control, you’re sacrificing a very basic and important need, such as inner peace or personal freedom.

Once you’re clear about what control is costing you, you get to decide if it’s important enough for YOU to let go. And when you do, you’ll be UNSTOPPABLE!